Wednesday, April 5, 2006

I've been getting many emails from home owners telling me that they're confused by all of the intellectual talk here on this blog. I'm sorry. I occasionally forget that not everyone is a real estate professional like myself and slip into highly technical jargon. So in order to help my visitors better understand what the real estate market is really like I've taken the liberty of writing this post in more appropriate language.

Once upon a time in the happy kingdom of Realatopia there lived a great prince named Realtor. Prince Realtor was renown throughout the kingdom as the wisest prince who ever lived. And he was much loved, for when Prince Realtor looked around his kingdom he saw that all his subjects were rich and happy. Nothing it seems could ever break the spell that he held over his happy subjects. But one day the court jester, a fool named Renter, began going around telling tales of the fearsome bubble monster. He said the monster was 20 feet tall, and could eat a granite countertop in a single bite. He said the monster was coming and would ruin them all.

At first nobody took the fool serious. He was, after all, a court jester. But after a while the happy people of Realatopia began to feel uneasy. Maybe there was something to this fool's ramblings. Maybe there really was a bubble monster coming to destroy their happy homes. Finally when the people could stand no more, they went to Prince Realtor and begged him to slay this bubble monster before it descended on their once happy land.

So the prince declared throughout the land that he would send out his two most brave knights to slay this unearthly beast. They were two knights who knew no fear and could conquer any foe. They were Option Loan and his brother Interest-only Loan. These two Loan brothers were already legendary amongst the people of Realatopia. For all of the citizens of this coveted land knew how helpful these brothers could be in an emergency and there wasn't anything they couldn't accomplish with these two heroes at their side.

Therefore at dawn of the first day in April these two honorable knights set forth into the countryside looking for the evil bubble monster. But try as they might they could find no trace of the creature. Everywhere they looked they found prosperity and mirth. Certainly no sign of impending doom. And just as they were about to give up, the brave knight Option Loan sighted the creature. It wasn't 20 feet tall and could never in its wildest dreams devour a beautiful and value adding granite countertop. For it was only a small, frightened little mouse, and not the destructive monster that the fool Renter made it out to be. With a laugh Option Loan named this "fearsome" mouse Bubbles and took it back to Prince Realtor to show to the people.

And once the people saw that the monster was harmless they welcomed Option and Interest-only Loan back into their homes and everyone, including Bubbles, lived happily ever after. Except for the fool Renter of course. But that my friends is a story for another day.